Thursday, April 10, 2008

Fairy Tail by Courtney Bee

"Fairies are trouble," a man once mumbled to Adam in a pub. "They're little teases is what they are. I just came from the Orionne forest--know where that is?"

Adam lifted his head from his mug and smiled politely. "I've heard of it."

"Me and Belinda--that's this lovely lady here--" He paused and motioned to the portly swine grunting softly at his feet. "We were just there, see. Most folks won't come within ten miles of the forest on account of the dragons, but the place is bursting with truffles, so me and Belinda go in there all the time. Well, boy, you wouldn't believe it. I'm packing up the last of the truffles when I feel a little flitter against my arm. I look down and this gorgeous little strumpet of a fairy is floating right in front of me. Before I know what's what she smiles at me and starts to peel off the flimsy gown she's wearing. She lets loose a giggle that sounds like tiny bells and starts to do a little dance, winking at me and running her hands all over her body. I just stood there with my mouth flapping open--I didn't want to do anything to scare her off and end the peep show! So just as she starts to slip her hand between her thighs I hear this scuffle over by my cart, and when I look over--you won't believe this--a whole swarm of fairies is ransacking it! I started screaming and ran over to stop 'em, but they were already flying away with my truffles, my coin purse--everything! Little bastards robbed me! As I start letting loose with all kinds of curses, the tart that had distracted me flies right up to my face, smiles at me, and whispers, 'In your dreams, old man.' Wretched, wretched creatures!"

Adam set his mug on the bar. "I've never come across a fairy."

"Oh, she was beautiful!" said the man. "Long hair that looked just like glistening snow, eyes like amethyst, and skin that glowed like sunshine. Thief or not, I would have given ten years of my life to taste those lips. If you catch one they have to grant you a wish, you know. I think mine would have been for her to bend over and take it in the ass. Little minx."